For many of us, addiction didn’t start with defiance. It started with pain.

Unprocessed grief. Silent trauma. Deep emotional wounds we were never taught how to handle. So we learned to numb. We reached for alcohol, not because we were reckless, but because we were trying to survive.

And then the shame crept in.

Not just guilt for what we did, but a deep, aching belief that we are what we did. That we’re damaged. That we’re beyond repair. That maybe we believe in God, but He couldn’t possibly want someone like us.

That’s the trap of shame, and for so many Christian women, it’s what keeps the cycle going. Not the craving. Not even the substance. But the belief that we’re too far gone.

I remember when I was stuck in active addiction. I would hide in my home. I wouldn’t go anywhere or talk to anyone because I felt so much shame. I assumed everyone was mad at me, disappointed in me, and I didn’t want to face the damage I had done. That thought process kept me trapped—trapped in my own mind, trapped in the cycle of addiction, and trapped in isolation. I had become a prisoner by my own doing, and I couldn’t see a way out.

But here’s what I’ve come to learn through both recovery and walking with Jesus:

Shame is a liar. And it is not the voice of God.

Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Condemnation chains us to the past. Grace sets us free to walk forward.

And yet, we still struggle to believe it. We replay every mistake. Every moment we weren’t the mother, wife, or daughter we wanted to be. We think about the people we hurt. The promises we broke. The nights we don’t remember.

We carry it like a badge, quiet and heavy, and convince ourselves that this is what we deserve.

But the truth is: God isn’t asking you to carry that shame. He already carried it to the cross.

The woman caught in adultery didn’t earn grace. She just showed up at the feet of Jesus. And He didn’t throw a stone. He offered freedom.

Grace doesn’t minimize the damage. But it does rewrite the story.

Where shame says, “You are your sin,” grace says, “You are My daughter.”

Where shame says, “Hide,” grace says, “Come close.”

Where shame says, “You’ll never be free,” grace says, “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.”

If you’re reading this and stuck in the shame cycle – relapsing, isolating, trying to fix yourself before coming back to God – I want you to hear this clearly:

You don’t have to do that anymore.

You don’t have to punish yourself to prove you’re sorry.

You don’t have to earn your way back to God.

You don’t have to stay stuck in a cycle that Christ already broke.

You can stop running and start receiving.

Right here. As you are. Without the mask.

You are not your past. You are not your addiction. You are not the lie that says you’re too far gone.

You are loved. You are forgiven. You are free.

And grace is still for you.