Let me be honest, I spent a long time trying to white-knuckle my way through sobriety.

I thought if I just tried hard enough… if I avoided triggering situations, kept myself busy… I’d make it through.

For a while, that was all I knew how to do.

After realizing that traditional 12-step programs weren’t the right fit for me, I felt lost. I didn’t know what other support systems were out there, and I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere. So I tried to push through on my own. I told myself I just had to be strong. Just keep going. Just make it through one more day.

But after relapsing over and over every month or two, I knew white-knuckling was not the way to go.

Here’s what I learned: white-knuckling is not recovery. It’s survival mode. And eventually, it wears you down.

White-knuckling looks like:

• Saying no to a drink but feeling completely on edge
• Holding it together on the outside, while falling apart on the inside
• Feeling like you’re “doing it right” because you’re not drinking—even if you’re full of anxiety, shame, or sadness
• Being physically sober but emotionally and spiritually depleted

I was sober, but I wasn’t free.

And that’s the problem.

Sobriety through willpower alone isn’t sustainable. It leads to burnout, bitterness, and often, relapse. It’s like trying to hold your breath underwater—you can only do it for so long before something breaks.

So what actually works?

What worked for me—and what I help other women find now—is this:

Connection. I had to stop isolating. I needed other women in recovery who got it—who wouldn’t judge me, shame me, or expect me to be perfect.

Faith. When I invited God into my recovery, everything shifted. I stopped trying to “fix” myself and started letting Him restore me.

Support. I needed structure. Accountability. Tools that helped me not just stay sober, but actually heal.

Identity. I had to learn who I was without alcohol—and who I was in Christ. That changed everything.

Recovery isn’t about “being strong.” It’s about being willing. Willing to ask for help. Willing to try a new way. Willing to surrender.

You don’t have to white-knuckle anymore, friend. There’s a better way—and you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re ready to step out of survival mode and into true recovery, I’d be honored to walk with you.